Category Archives: Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones

And Now His Watch Has Ended – Of Anything at all on Television

Game of Thrones, one of the best shows on television in recent memory, somehow was allowed to end based on some 12 year old’s fan fiction. Eight long years of careful foreshadowing, plot building and sometimes even character development was thrown away as if into a sky cell.

For the night is dark and full of terrible writing.

Arya the Explorer heads “West of Westeros”. Really?

HBO was, for a while, thought to be immune from the manipulative bullshit of standard television . But nope. Game of Thrones was good enough to make people forget that “The Sopranos” also ended very badly on HBO with it’s “fade to black” The End finale.

Don’t get me wrong, Game of Thrones Season 8’s finale had some powerful, well done moments, but they were all disjointed and lacked flow in the actual story. The actors valiant efforts to make the scene believable felt wasted in a story that made no logical sense. Something was definitely missing in the finale. Was it an errant anachronistic coffee cup?

HBO is done. The high priced model of subscription television is done. And HBO knew it. Before the last few tragic episodes of Game of Thrones, HBO was pushing Chernobyl and whatever other new TV series that they think will retain paying subscribers after the confused Game of Thrones ending.

The latest Game of Thrones episode just proves that, given enough hero worship, any crap writing can be deemed genius and pushed forward to production. SNL has been doing it for years and most of the stoned TV watchers as that hour don’t notice at all. The writing has been dumbed down in an attempt to please all. But time and again, attempts to please all with any production end up pleasing no one. So that is where we are today with the much anticipated Game of Thrones finale. No one is pleased. EspecialyJon Snow.

Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones Coffee Cup – The Last of the Starbucks

Game of Thrones’ final season is wrapping up with just two episodes left to go. But last week’s installment, “The Last of the Starks”,  could have been titled “The Last of the Starbucks”.  An errant, anachronistic coffee cup that looks a lot like a tall Starbuck’s cup was left on the table next to Daenerys in the post battle celebration scene. Whose was it? And how did they miss it in post production? Did the editors just think it was product placement? Like the Air Arya shoes worn by the hero as she flew through the air to take out the Night King? Just kidding. She was actually wearing Curry 2 Low ‘Chef’ shoes.

With all the money spent on practical fire effects, flying dragons, giant’s milk, and moveable white walker piles, the most talked about prop from HBO’s Game of Thrones season 8 episode 4 is a single errant disposable coffee cup. The internet is amazing. HBO initially tweeted that Daenerys ordered herbal tea and not coffee, so that wasn’t her cup. So obviously it is Jon Snow’s Giant’s Milk Latte that he’s been regularly ordering to try to grow out of the “Small but Strong” jokes from the original drinker of Giant’s Milk, Tormund Giantsbane. HBO now says that the errant cup has been deleted out of any replays of “The Last of the Starbucks”.

So that DVR recording you have is the only place the cup remains. And of course across millions of twitter, facebook and Instagram posts. The cup will live forever now. Even without Melisandre’s magic necklace. The North remembers. And so does the internet.

Perhaps HBO will pick up a Game of Thrones spinoff involving Winterfell’s most famous coffee shop, Grim Grinders.

Game of Thrones presents us with “The Last of the Starbucks”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Game of Thrones

Valyrian Steel and Dragon Glass Futures Trending Downward

Beware! Here be spoilers related to the final season of Game of Thrones:

Due to changing market conditions, the futures for high end Valyrian Steel and Dragon Glass are trending downward. It seems one Arya Stark made the last practical use of this exotic steel with an expensive dagger known as the Catspaw Blade, previously  owned by Little Finger. Interestingly, this same Valyrian Steel dagger that saved the Three Eyed Raven (AKA Bran Stark) was used in an attempt to kill him and frame Tyrion Lannister.

While Valyrian Steel is still rare, its use in shattering White Walkers seems diminished.

So now we mourn those that we lost in the battle of Winterfell:

The mini-lady of Bear Island, Lyanna Mormont, who would have fared better against the giant had she had access to Giant’s Milk in her school lunches.

Beric Dondarrion, the eye patch guy with the burning sword. After his many lives, he is finally sent to pay the big propane bill in the sky.

Theon Greyjoy, after redeeming himself for his past deeds, is killed by the Night King and reunited with his missing pork sausage.

The Night King gets a taste of Arya’s Valyrian Steel dagger and gets all broken up about it.

Ser Jorah died protecting the mother of dragons from the relentless ice zombies. Sadly he never had a chance to make it out of the friend zone.

Melisandre, used her last fire spells to give millions of TV viewers enough light to see the Battle of Winterfell. And also used her last shot of botox. Age comes on fast.

Ice Dragon Viserion, whose destructive breath was at least minty fresh, was taken down with his creator.

There were still those that were not expendable in this Long Night battle for Winterfell. The Hound, who still has to face his brother, The Mountain. Jamie Lannister who still has to face his sister. And baby?

Despite being worth less at the moment, Valyrian Steel swords are still quite rare. These are among the specimens known to still exist in Westeros:

Oathkeeper

Heartsbane

The Dagger

Dawn

Widow’s Wail

And this seems to end the darkest part of winter. Does that mean that #SpringIsComing?

Guess we won’t need this #dragonglass anymore:

Dragon Glass. In a glass bottle.
American Ingenuity, Beer, Game of Thrones

Prepare for Game of Thrones with Fire and Blood Beer

Prepare yourself for Episode 3 of season 4 of Game of Thrones with some Fire and Blood. Fire and Blood Red Ale that is. Brewed by Brewery Ommegang in Cooperstown, NY and of course licensed by HBO, this red ale is brewed with Ancho Chiles but only has a tiny hint of spice. There are three different images on the beer labels in this series, one of each of the three dragons of Daenerys Targaryen, the Mother of Dragons. They are Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion. I only conquered two of the three. No matter which label you are lucky enough to find in your quest for the Iron Throne, the beer is the same. A fairly mild reddish ale that has a 6.8 percent bite of alcohol. Nothing that a dragon might actually drink, but if you happen to be at a House Targaryen party it is thirst quenching nonetheless. 

Game_of_Thrones_Beer_Brewery_Ommegang_Red_Ale_Fire_and_Blood
Game of Thrones Limited Edition Beer from Brewery Ommegang Red Ale Fire and Blood

You can see the color of the Red Ale in this photo:

Game_of_Thrones_Beer_Brewery_Ommegang_Red_Ale_Fire_and_Blood_pint_glass_siliconcali.com
Game of Thrones Red Ale in a San Francisco MLB All Star game pint glass

So what if this Game of Thrones Red Ale is in a 2007 All Star Game pint glass, all of my horn beer mugs were in the dishwasher.

 

Game of Thrones Fire and Blood Red Ale. GoT Beer?
Game of Thrones Fire and Blood Red Ale. GoT Beer?

But be sure not to let any young ones like Joffrey, have a drink. They just may choke.

For more Game of Thrones drinking authenticity, try the actual horn mugs:

game_of_thrones_horn_beer_mugs
Genuine Horn Mugs made in the UK available from jelldragon.com

Oh, and happy easter. May all of your eggs contain dragons. Be prepared to train them though. You can learn how here. No one likes an unruly dragon flying around setting your village on fire. Then the FAA has to go write up regulations on dragon flying and it just gets more complicated.  I hope you know what you’re getting into Khaleesi!

 

I WILL TAKE WHAT IS MINE WITH FIRE AND BLOOD.

I WILL TAKE WHAT IS MINE WITH FIRE AND BLOOD. Or maybe just some jelly beans. Thanks!

#FireAndBlood

Update July 24, 2014: Game of Thrones beer collectors bottles have been spotted for sale at Comic Con for 19 bucks each! Wow, I hope that price includes CRV.